Got engaged. Got fired. Probably moving to Wisconsin.

Well that's it for today's entry! Thank you and goodnight!

Kidding. Anyway, I totally apologize if you are a friend of mine and I am breaking all this huge life-changing news on my online journal, of all places. But I am so completely freaked out and in shock and what have you, and I feel like if I don't put it all out there, my brain will implode.

The thing is, about a week and a half ago, my company discovered a very expensive typo. And at first it really seemed like they were going to take a "well, everyone's human" approach to the whole thing. They were finally going to add a backup proofreader, which I have been wishing for since I started there. (Ian's company is a third the size of mine, and they have two proofreaders.) Because the first rule of proofreading is this: you will never catch everything.

The problem is, I missed something big, and costly, and there were a lot of people who were, justifiably, very upset by it. And then suddenly I was being criticized for my overall job performance. Which was bizarre to me considering that in February, I received an absolutely glowing performance review. Like, the highest you could get. So as for that, I really didn't get any warning at all that suddenly my performance was unacceptable.

So ever since Typogate, I've been proofreading everything like life or death. I was skipping lunches and eating from the vending machines, never leaving my desk, giving myself headaches, and feeling generally completely miserable and stressed-out. Every typo I missed felt like the Sword of Damocles was lowering a little further on its string over my head. And I thought, am I being paranoid?

In the meantime, as all this was going on, I thought I was being taken out to dinner because I was so sad and stressed, but really I was being taken out to dinner to be proposed to! And I was originally trying to figure out how to write about it, since my f-f-f--fianc� is shy about appearing in this journal. I was like well, I could write all about my stunning (blood-of-the-children-free) ring and how happy I am, and come off totally self-absorbed and materialistic. "She just cares about herself and her ring! What about the guy!?" Well, as Tim put it, "You guys are almost freakishly perfect for each other." And we are.

So that happened, and in the meantime work just kept getting worse. And then yesterday, I had a bad feeling all day. There were meetings taking place that I was like, "the only way that particular combination of people makes sense is if they are going to ask so-and-so to take over as a proofreader." And then we had a company birthday party and--really, this was shitty--certain people wouldn't even look at me, much less talk to me or be friendly to me. My unease grew.

Then someone (the person who has proofreading experience, and was in the meeting) came and said "thanks for doing that project" or whatever I had been doing for her, and she patted me on the shoulder. Nobody pats me on the shoulder for doing my job, for god's sake. So as soon as she did that, I knew I was out of there. And of course, a little while later, my boss called me into her office and fired me. (Weetabix: "Fuckers at your job, though, I hate them all and wish them many uncomfortable medical exams in the near future.")

I've never been fired before, but I have cried at work before, uncontrollably, on very bad days. I have to say I didn't cry at all when they fired me. Partly because I had been expecting it. Also, it was kind of an exciting, dramatic moment and I was waiting to see what might happen next. And, too, I was probably in shock. And of course, after the miserable week of feeling like I wasn't allowed to make a single mistake, it was somewhat of a relief.

Then I had to go through the humiliation of packing up all my stuff, which luckily took place after most of the staff had gone home. They let me back up all my photos and documents and everything. I hope I got it all, I was kind of out of it, really.

Then my mom, who always says "everything happens for a reason" and I will never doubt her again, called me at work and I said basically, can't talk, got fired. And she said "I'll pray for you, honey" and hung up.

And then this amazing thing happened. I got a phone call from the dean of a university in Wisconsin, offering me a teaching fellowship. I'd be teaching literature, poetry, and writing. It is literally my dream come true, and at that point, I finally started crying. I was crying and laughing like Miss America.

I had applied for this fellowship in a total long shot sort of way, after writing an entry about how I longed to be a teacher. Weetabix sent me information about this fellowship, and I just thought what the hell. Honestly, be careful what you wish for. The universe not only gave me the job, but made it so that I now have three weeks off with severance pay to prepare for it!

So now my thoughts are these. First, that I would be an idiot to refuse this gift of a dream job that came at the exact right time in my life. Second, that I am moving in with Ian this weekend and we will only have a few weeks to live together before we have to do the long distance thing again. And that sucks more than I can say, but we've been through worse I guess. And third, I am totally terrified at the idea of teaching at a university! Who came up with this idea! Oh my god! But you know, the biggest and most terrifying risk I ever took in life was moving to San Francisco, and it turned out to be the best thing I ever did.

I obviously won't be able to keep a public journal for very much longer, and I might have to pull down my archives. I am going to talk to my friends who are teachers and see what the most advisable course of action is. I definitely want to write about my experiences over the next year, and I'd like to find a way to do that without putting my career in jeopardy. So we'll see what happens. Thanks for sticking with me.

Piegirl[at]gmail.com is where you can reach me. In case you have any advice to offer, or if you just want to say "you were FIRED?! That's fucking BULLSHIT, man!!" Or if you want to send me a laptop. Because it occurs to me that I really will need one in Wisconsin, and how am I going to afford one? I don't have a job!