I did not take very many pictures on vacation at all, because I saw other people taking pictures, and I thought well, this is the age of the Internet, I will just look at their pictures. And also, I was conserving my energy to do things like walk and drink margaritas and get into, as well as out of, my hammock.

I mean, sometimes I had to get into and out of that hammock several times a day. That is effort.

Speaking of effort, the real effort came on Saturday, when we participated in The Amazing Race. Okay, so there was no million-dollar prize. And the closest thing we had to Phil from New Zealand was Amanda from Australia. But if you've seen the show, this should all sound somewhat familiar. The tour went something like this:

First, we were blessed by a shaman in a traditional Mayan ceremony. (Theoretically. I mean, who knows what the hell he was saying. But it was neat. We drank this ceremonial drink that I later heard would get you totally fucked up if you drank more than a tiny bit. I wished I'd taken a bigger swig, in preparation for the zip line.)

Then, we canoed across a lake.

Then we hiked up into the jungle and took a zip line down across the water. I was terrified of the zip line, but I knew that if I didn't do it, I would regret it! The hardest moment was right before I was supposed to step off the rock and go. The guy said "just start walking" as if it was the easiest thing in the world to casually start walking off the side of a cliff. I nodded to show that I understood the word "walk" and then just stood there, looking terrified. (Check it out; I look like I'm about to throw up.)

Next thing I knew, I was flying across the line, screaming "WOO HOO!" the whole way down at the top of my lungs. And Beth, who was in an entirely different part of the jungle, apparently heard me and said "Either that's a howler monkey, or Mo just did the zip line." How did she know!

After that, we rappelled down the side of a rock. (See previous entry for link to photo of my giant ass.) Once I had done the zip line, I was like YEAH, WHAT ELSE YOU GOT, BITCHES? I was mostly worried about screwing it up and getting all tangled and hitting my head on a tree, or doing other similar things that would embarrass me greatly and result in humiliating pictures on the Internet. But unfortunately for your entertainment, I did okay!

Then we hiked through the forest looking for wild spider monkeys. (I took a picture of the monkeys, but I can't find them in the picture. It looks like a picture of leaves. But by that point I was so hungry and hot and delirious that I may have been hallucinating. So it may in fact be a picture of leaves that, at the time, resembled monkeys.)

Then we had the eating challenge, lunch. (I thought I was hungry. Turned out I was mostly thirsty. I had something like three glasses of water and two glasses of tamarind juice and one glass of blackcurrant juice before we got back in the van. So thirsty. I still have a very visceral memory of that thirst.)

Then we went to the ruins at Coba, and had a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons, of how to get to the big pyramid. Some of us took bicycles, some of us took bicycle taxis. Then we climbed the gigantic pyramid.

Then we went swimming in a cenote: an underground limestone cave.

We even had the Rob-and-Amber celebrity distraction thing happening, when our tour guide told us that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had been on our tour the week before. The photo was just Tom with his arm around Miguel, the hot tour guide. Hmm.

Then we had tequila shots, and the tour was over!

The tour was a great experience, obviously. Highly recommended if you decide to go to the Riviera Maya. The company is called Alltournative and the tour was called Mayan Encounter. (I see that they also have a Whale Shark encounter. Next time, I am communing with Whale Sharks for sure.)

The rest of the vacation was mostly just relaxing. (See above re: hammock.) We had two group meals a day, and every day at 6:30 was the official drinking hour (although there were drinks available around the clock from the honor bar). I lost my shoes about a dozen times. I kept putting them on, forgetting that shoes are totally besides the point at our eco-resort, where there are not even any floors. Just beautiful sand, like fine brown sugar. So then I took my shoes off and forgot about them.

And then sometimes we went swimming in the perfect, clear, warm Caribbean water. Or kayaking in the ocean. Or snorkeling. And sometimes we just sat around for hours, talking to fellow Suspects, not having anywhere to be but where we were, and not having anything to do but swim, drink, eat, read, relax.

Now that is a vacation.